Rise of the Tomb Raider: A Silly Review

 

Ah, ROTTR, I’ve waited, I’ve stalked and I pre-ordered. I must say, it wasn’t a waste of money at all. The game is gorgeous, the combat is flawless, I wanted more weapons… And I said to myself, we’re not writing a review, ugh.

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But shit, this is a review anyway because I recently finished the game. Again, -clears throat-

The game is gorgeous, the combat is flawless, the movement was somewhat flawless, the camera angling, well, it made me dizzy, a lot. The crafting is okay. That’s it, that’s the crafting. Resource gathering is your typical grind, give or take a few hidden things. Also, I’m strangely fine with the game being only semi-open-world.

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The story was… Not their best, I had to admit. And Jonah, why the hell is Jonah even here? Is he Lara’s BFF? Her spiritual advisor? Her walking kevlar vest? Her meat shield? She needed and a friend and none of the ones who are still alive were available?

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How does this even connect to the first one? Other than, you know, Lara BECOMING the Tomb Raider.

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Also, fake Jesus. At the time, I honestly thought, “Lara found Jesus?!” Well, I was wrong.

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What I did love about this game were the puzzles, they were challenging enough to be annoying but at the same time easy enough that they make you face-palm because duh! I especially loved the DLCs, Baba Yaga is win. And the outfits that came with the pre-order, other than being at the height of mountain people fashion, were also useful, increasing different stats, giving you different perks etc.

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I also loved the lore, I mean not everyone’s heard of Baba Yaga. However, I kind of wish that they’d stuck with the myth rather than give the myth a scientific explanation, “Lick the frog, Lara!” Lol, no, they were pollen, not frog sweat.

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Monster House makes a cameo, made 200% more terrifying with the help of drugs!

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And this scene, because the preserved dead people should totally turn their heads and watch you enter.

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My only beef with this game? No Sam, I mean yes, *SPOILER ALERT* Sam is in currently incarcerated because she thinks she’s criminally insane but where’s the resolution in that? Himiko is still inside her, Himiko needs to leave, can we get the third part where Lara resolves this? Because in part 2 Lara finally got over her shit by proving that her daddy wasn’t insane.

Overall:

Graphics: 9.5/10

Music: 8/10

Gameplay: 8/10

Story: 6/10

Lack of Sam: -10 (but this doesn’t count >:p)

Conclusion: Died at intro, would play again. 

 

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